Using the attention we earn
Flourish by nurturing both kinds of social capital

To build trust, ask questions and listen carefully

We have the mistaken impression that people trust us because we do what we say. Actually, they trust us because we ask what they do. 

Trillion Dollar Coach, by Eric Schmidt, Jonathan Rosenberg & Alan Eagle, 2019 by Harper Business

When you listen to people, they feel valued. A 2003 study from Lund University in Sweden finds that “mundane, almost trivial” things like listening and chatting with employees are important aspects of successful leadership, because “people feel more respected, visible and less anonymous, and included in teamwork.” And a 2016 paper finds that this form of “respectful inquiry,” where the leader asks open questions and listens attentively to the response, is effective because it heightens the “follower’s” feelings of competence (feeling challenged and experiencing mastery), relatedness (feeling of belonging), and autonomy (feeling in control and having options). Those three factors are sort of the holy trinity of the self-determination theory of human motivation, originally developed by Edward L. Deci and Richard M. Ry...