A few years ago I attended a lecture of leadership by Susan Lieberman when she worked for Rice University. I remember the 'one thing' she said we need to remember when working to persuade people to follow us.
"It's not about you."
She was explaining how to react when people bridle about doing as asked, when they push back, and transfer blame, and give excuses. Leaders want to know: "what did I do wrong?" but that's hopeless, she said. Instead look at the situation from the follower's point of view. What are they being asked to give up? What support and resources do they have or lack? Where do they want to go? How did you consider that, and what will you do next, now that you have?
Now Rod Martin has published an excellent article about the little things we do that send the wrong message. Like refusing a breath mint....
Quora, via Inc. magazine: The One Quirky Mannerism that All Successful People Share, 2016-Jan-7 by Rod D. Martin
Successful people take the breath mint. They think about the needs of others. They seek out the information being conveyed without words. They don't just lollygag through life, thinking the world is all about them.